March 31, 2018

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I think it's pretty hard to not try and tune yourself—who you are, what you have to say, what you make and what you want to do—to the likes and dislikes of other people, communities, organizations. In fact it can come off as self-centered. Yet I find it harder to know what I want to say and what matters to me if I try and consider what everyone else wants. It can be a big distraction from the essential matter of my own direction to try and cater to other things. And while collaboration can unveil new understandings and create beautiful things, I find myself more drawn to the solitary path of working things out alone within myself. Not to say this path is uninfluenced, because that's impossible... But maybe the people I speak with and the things I learn from them, the ones I meet and see and revere in a quiet, not obviously collaborative way, are indeed collaborating with me. In this way we both hold onto the essential kernel of ourselves and at the same time offer it to those around us, without trying to control or produce some particular result.